Have you ever told yourself, “I shouldn’t be angry,” but still felt angry?
Or tried to stop worrying, only to find the same anxious thoughts coming back again and again?
We often think we should be able to control our emotions. We try to calm ourselves down, think positively, distract ourselves, or suppress what we feel.
Sometimes it works for a little while.
But then someone says something, something unexpected happens, or a memory suddenly comes to mind—and the emotion returns.
Why?
To understand why it is so difficult to control our emotions, we first have to understand where our thoughts and emotions come from.
We Already Have a Peaceful Mind Within Us
Within each of us is a true mind that is naturally peaceful, grateful, and clear.
When we are free from the countless thoughts that cloud our minds, we can see situations more objectively, make clearer decisions, and respond to life with greater wisdom and calmness.
Then why don’t we experience this mind all the time?
Because it has become covered by another mind—the mind we have accumulated throughout our lives.
Our Minds Work Like a Camera
From the moment we are born, we experience the world through our body.
We see with our eyes, hear with our ears, smell with our nose, taste with our mouth, and feel through our body.
In a way, the human body works like a camera.
As we go through life, we continuously take mental pictures of everything we experience.
Our parents.
Our childhood.
School.
Friendships.
Relationships.
Successes and failures.
Moments of love, rejection, embarrassment, fear, anger, and disappointment.
These experiences remain within us like scenes from a movie.
By the time we become adults, we have accumulated countless mental pictures of the life we have lived.
And those pictures do not simply disappear.
They become the material from which many of our thoughts and emotional reactions arise.
We React to the Present Through Pictures of the Past
Suppose someone does not respond to your text.
One person might think:
They must be busy.
Another person immediately begins to worry:
Why aren’t they answering me?
Did I do something wrong?
Are they upset with me?
Another may become angry:
Why are they ignoring me?
The same event happened to all three people.
So why are their reactions different?
Because each person is not responding only to what is happening in that moment. They are also responding through the memories, expectations, habits, and experiences already stored within their mind.
Perhaps someone who fears being ignored has experienced rejection before.
Perhaps someone who becomes defensive was frequently criticized.
Perhaps someone who becomes angry when things do not go their way has accumulated strong expectations about how others should behave.
We think we are reacting only to the present.
But often, the past stored within us is reacting to the present.
When anxious thoughts continue to repeat themselves, it can become difficult to separate what is actually happening now from what our accumulated mind is telling us.
The False Mind World We Have Created
At Long Island Meditation, we refer to this accumulated world of memories, thoughts, habits, judgments, and emotions as the false human mind world.
It is called “false” because it is not the world itself. It is the personal picture of the world that each of us has created and stored within our mind.
We may believe we are seeing a person exactly as that person is.
But often we are seeing that person through our memories of them.
We may believe a situation itself is making us anxious.
But our fear may be coming from the thoughts and pictures already stored within us.
Without realizing it, we begin to live according to this inner world.
Our thoughts come from it.
Our judgments come from it.
Our expectations come from it.
And many of our emotional reactions come from it.
This is why the same patterns can continue even when the people and circumstances around us change.
Why Controlling Emotions Is Not Enough
When an uncomfortable emotion appears, we naturally try to control it.
Don’t be angry.
Stop worrying.
Think positively.
Just let it go.
But if the underlying pictures remain, the emotion can return whenever something triggers them.
It is like cutting a weed while leaving the root underground.
For a while, everything looks better.
But eventually, it grows again.
This is why we can understand intellectually that we should not worry and still worry.
We can know that anger is hurting us and still become angry.
We can tell ourselves that the past is over while continuing to live emotionally inside it.
The problem is not simply that we lack emotional control.
The root of the emotion is still there.
Instead of Controlling the Emotion, Discard Its Root
This is where meditation can make a fundamental difference.
At Long Island Meditation, we practice a systematic method of looking back on the life we have lived, recognizing the mind we have accumulated, and discarding it.
We refer to the memories of the life we have lived as our karma. We also carry inherited tendencies and habits, along with deeply rooted attachments connected to the body and ourselves.
The meditation method progresses step by step, allowing us to discard these layers of accumulated mind.
This is different from simply trying to replace a negative thought with a positive one.
We go to the root.
When we see where our anger came from, we can discard that mind.
When we see where our anxiety came from, we can discard that mind.
When we recognize the memories behind our fear, resentment, insecurity, or need for approval, we can let those minds go as well.
As the root disappears, we no longer need to fight so hard with the emotion that grew from it.
What Remains When the False Mind Is Gone?
This is the beautiful part.
We do not have to create a true mind.
It is already within us.
For much of our lives, we search outside ourselves for happiness, peace, certainty, and answers.
We think:
Maybe I will be happy when my circumstances change.
Maybe I will be peaceful when this problem disappears.
Maybe I will finally feel complete when I achieve what I want.
Yet even when one problem disappears, another often takes its place.
What we have been searching for cannot ultimately be found by changing everything outside of us.
When the false mind we have accumulated is discarded, we can uncover the true mind that has always existed within.
It is peaceful because it is no longer trapped in the past.
It is clear because it is not constantly judging the present through old pictures.
It is grateful because it can experience life as it is.
And from this mind, we can think, make decisions, communicate, and live more freely.
You Don’t Have to Spend Your Life Fighting Your Mind
Meditation is not about becoming emotionless.
And it is not about pretending that difficult things never happened.
It is about freeing ourselves from the accumulated mind that continues to recreate suffering long after an experience has passed.
So the next time anger, anxiety, fear, or frustration arises, instead of only asking,
“How can I control this emotion?”
try asking:
“Where is this emotion coming from?”
“What am I still carrying in my mind?”
When we find the root and discard it, we do not have to spend the rest of our lives managing the same mind again and again.
At Long Island Meditation, we guide you through a step-by-step meditation method to reflect on the life you have lived, recognize the false mind you have accumulated, and let it go.
The peaceful and clear mind you have been searching for is not somewhere far away.
It is already within you.
And we do not have to wait until someday in the future to find it.
We can begin clearing the mind and living from our true mind right here, right now.
Ready to Experience It for Yourself?
Learn how you can begin letting go of the accumulated mind and experience a clearer, more peaceful mind.