Are You Still Waiting for a Change? This Meditation Changed Me
"Living such a trite course in life, I always hoped for a “special life.” First as a dentist in the hospital, and later after opening my own practice, I lived inside a life that I thought was mundane. I earned money, built a building, rented out the bottom floors, made the upper floors my dental office and home, and was soon turning 60. I hated my life that seemed so ordinary and I deeply wanted to live a different life. But I just couldn’t figure out how to live that different life, that special life."
I always wanted a special life but constantly felt anxious and felt that something was missing
The most I did was become engrossed in playing tennis every night. Somehow, I never even got married. And then through my brother’s recommendation, I started to do this meditation. As I followed the method and meditated, I felt that even if the Nobel Prize were given to this meditation it would not be sufficient. Throwing away one mind at a time and feeling the load on the chest lighten was worth more than a Nobel Prize.
My pride was strong, I was very stubborn, and I had a lot of attachments. I had to be better than others. So I dwelled on a lot of things. I would compare my office to other dental offices and put myself down. I would attend multiple seminars to make a better me. That still wouldn’t be enough so I would travel abroad to listen to more seminars.
Regardless of whether there were no patients, or if there were a lot of patients, I would still be stressed. I was always anxious and always felt something was lacking. After opening my office, I lost so much weight it became noticeable to others.
But surprisingly in a good way, all those minds that made it difficult for me disappeared easily. Although this method cannot be physically seen, it was amazing. I wondered how this method was ever even developed? I felt that giving the Nobel Prize or the likes of it to the person who founded this method would not be wasted.
Living Without Any Worries or Anxiety is That Special Life
Right now, I am truly joyful and happy. At my office, there are three employees and myself who live together. When I came back from the meditation center, I really started to move my body for the first time. I emptied the office trash and cleaned the office together with the others. I used to think that kind of work was only for my employees. All the hard work that I used to hire other people to do, now I try to do most of it myself. I eat together with my employees, and keep my own room open to my employees.
Rather than a hierarchical relationship, we began to have a comrade-like relationship. Naturally the atmosphere got better, different from before. So when the patients came to the office, for some reason they mentioned how at ease they felt. And I started to have the desire to put my all into caring for my patients when dealing with them as each and every patient relationship became precious to me.
Before in the past, I didn’t do difficult surgeries, not because I couldn’t but because it was too bothersome. But now I do all the surgeries no matter how much time they take. Also, in the past, I never treated any children. Treating children took a lot of time and caring for them wasn’t easy. But now, I treat the children the same way as I treat the adults. I used to always worry about things that might happen and planned what would need to be done if such things happened, even though they never happened.
Also, for the small mistakes, I would wonder why I did that and what to do next. These days, I barely have any worrying thoughts and am no longer worrying ahead of time. It is so amazing to me. I barely have any stress, and now live with peace of mind. And of course, I got healthier and gained weight. My body looks better than ever and I am maintaining my weight as well. Even those around me say my face looks better and that I am looking younger every day. They say I look like I’m in my early 30s, and perhaps it is because I am not married yet, but it makes me feel good to hear that.
Ho-ki Baek / Dentist